[Even at this distance, he can hear the soft movement of feet, and feels a little pride well within him. He's so stubborn and persistent... even in the face of a terrible phobia. He truly is strong, isn't he?
As a bug buzzes by his ear, it gives a little flick... but otherwise? He's lying perfectly still, not even fidgeting in his spot.]
[After a few seconds of movement, he stops, the shorter distance between them setting alarm bells off all over again. The impulse to back away hits, but he pushes it aside. If he can't stay calm, he can at least stand his ground...as long as he stays in control of his reactions, he'll be able to fight if needed, right?]
[He's stopped again... he seems to be making progress less quickly than before. Shido hardly feels impatient, but he does worry that Goro is pushing himself far too hard. He lets out a small huff of a breath. At least give yourself adequate time to calm down before you move forward again... He doesn't want you stressing yourself out so badly you get an ulcer...]
[The stop, at least, seems to be more of a hesitation. After a brief pause, he starts forward again, slightly more confident than before. Perhaps a bit too confident, as he comes to an abrupt halt when he fully registers that he's gotten closer again. He's not as close as he got last time, but maybe that's what helps him shrug off the urge to flee without so much of a backwards twitch.
Maybe he is moving forward more slowly, but he can at least take pride in the fact that he hasn't given up ground even once.]
Seems like today is proving to be a sneeze-free day so far, though. Either way, he continues to be fond of his son's tenacity... though it hurts a little, now that he knows him, to think about how much he's missed out on. Goro and Kishi weren't the only ones he deprived of happy lives when he made the decision to cut them out of his life forever.
He wants to be hopeful, to look forward to the future, but the scars he's made on Goro are numerous and deep. Even when he tries not to be hostile towards Shido, he cannot help it at times. Shido's patience for him feels endless now because of how much he cares for him. And still... the reminders of his past sins cut like a knife.
... why is it whenever he's left alone to think, his thoughts become so depressing...]
[A shake of his head helps him fight down the panic, and he looks at Shido with the sort of burning determination he had close to the end last time. When he steps forward again, it's with even less hesitation than before, closing twice the distance he has each time before.
But he got too ambitious. As soon as the moment of stubborn passes, it fully hits him that he's closer than he got last time, and he immediately scrambles back, slowing and then solidly planting his feet when he reaches the point he'd been at before he started moving. With the recovered distance, though, he also seems to regain his composure. It's frustrating, to gain so much ground and then immediately lose it...but he has gotten closer than he did last time.
[The movement makes him start, almost taking another step back...before he plants his feet again. There's an extended moment of alarm, where a less stubborn person might have called it quits...but if the thought ever crosses his mind, it's dismissed out of hand. He's not giving up further away than he ended last time.
That thought and a deep breath help him recover a shaky composure, and he edges forward again. He's still visibly nervous, but doesn't seem willing to let it stop him.]
[When he startles, Shido instantly lowers his head almost instinctively to the ground to... hopefully seem less intimidating? He watches the teen for a moment, taking in his frightened composure...
... it's.. not a whole lot unlike how Goro used to be around him, huh...?
... heh. He really needs to stop thinking like this.
He goes back to lying on his side, since that seems to be the least intimidating pose for Goro at the moment.]
[Maybe his nerves have had enough. He balks again at the movement, and while it at first looks like he's going to stand his ground, a moment passes and he starts backing up. Again he slows and stops, but it seems he's still struggling to calm back down. The thought enters his mind that maybe he should call that enough for the day, but he stubbornly tosses it aside.
If he's going to quit, it should be while he's ahead, like last time...right?]
[Still a bit formal in the wording, but it does at least not sound quite like a formal request. He nods and holds out a bottle of cold water as he sits down.]
I guess it's probably too much to hope the buildings in this next Fissure still have working air conditioning...we were lucky enough that the last one was underwater.
If the machines are still intact, I might be able to power them, at least... though, depending on how long it's been, they may have simply broken down over time.
[He takes the bottle thankfully and opens it, taking a drink.]
You're doing well, though. Even in spite of your fear, you've made a lot of progress in a short time. Still, I can't help but worry a little about how hard you're pushing yourself.
...You saw how badly this affected me in the forest. If those tiger Noise had been real magical creatures, we both would've gotten hurt. Next time, they might be real.
Not to mention the Metaverse. I know for a fact that there are Shadows that resemble lions, and I've already been in one Palace here. I'd rather push myself in controlled circumstances than panic when there's real danger.
Perhaps, but... That isn't to say you can't take breaks. This is an immensely stressful situation for yourself... and I'm proud of you for wanting to overcome your weaknesses.
[His tone softens.]
But exercise patience with yourself. If it were Akira or Kurama... you'd want them to pace themselves, wouldn't you?
Your mother was fiercely stubborn as well. She wouldn't back down from a fight until she had won. Depending on the day, she might have either worked herself up to a frenzy, or froze hell over with one glance when she really got into it.
[He breathes out a heavy sigh, hand tensing around the bottle slightly and crinkling it as he looks down at it.]
...The gender wage gap is bad enough on its own, but it gets far worse if your employer knows you're a single mother. I don't remember a lot about her, but what I do remember...she struggled to earn enough to support us both. I never knew any of her family, either...they probably abandoned her when I was born.
[Even after his memory of her face started to fade, he still remembered the way the stress and exhaustion showed in her features. He worries his lip for a moment, then looks back at Shido.]
...It's why I can't help worrying when I see other people pushing themselves too hard. But maybe I'm a little too much my mother's son, huh?
Her relationship with her family was strained to begin with. Kishi refused to act like a typical Japanese woman... domestic, quiet and obedient, and it'd been a point of tension with her strict family for a long time.
[He gives Akechi a weak, half-hearted smile.]
Nonsense. You're fine just the way you are. Just remember to go a little easier on yourself now and then.
I'll...try. But I'm not really used to being able to go easy on myself. I've been emancipated since not long after I gained access to the Metaverse, and my job has never been particularly forgiving of my academic schedule. They expected that if I wanted to be respected and paid like an adult detective, I should be able to devote myself to my work like one, too.
But...our society is unforgiving regarding academics, as well. I couldn't afford to let my grades slip, so I bargained with my teachers for permission to skip classes for work as long as I kept up my studies in my own time. Combined with how demanding the media became, and the need to maintain my public image, my entire high school career has essentially required me to push myself constantly to keep up with my financial, academic, and social obligations.
I'm trying to break some of those ingrained habits now that I have most of my time free, but it's three years against six months...
[... and then he had to do all that on top of what Shido demanded of him, too. This kid was incredible... His brow tenses, guilt flashing through his eyes for a moment before he looks back at Goro.]
You'll get there. Just have patience.
[And now he's going to go back to drinking that water some more, before splashing a little in his hand and rubbing it over his face and head.]
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2018-07-06 02:27 am (UTC)As a bug buzzes by his ear, it gives a little flick... but otherwise? He's lying perfectly still, not even fidgeting in his spot.]
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Date: 2018-07-06 02:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-07-06 08:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-07-06 08:57 pm (UTC)Maybe he is moving forward more slowly, but he can at least take pride in the fact that he hasn't given up ground even once.]
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Date: 2018-07-07 02:26 am (UTC)Seems like today is proving to be a sneeze-free day so far, though. Either way, he continues to be fond of his son's tenacity... though it hurts a little, now that he knows him, to think about how much he's missed out on. Goro and Kishi weren't the only ones he deprived of happy lives when he made the decision to cut them out of his life forever.
He wants to be hopeful, to look forward to the future, but the scars he's made on Goro are numerous and deep. Even when he tries not to be hostile towards Shido, he cannot help it at times. Shido's patience for him feels endless now because of how much he cares for him. And still... the reminders of his past sins cut like a knife.
... why is it whenever he's left alone to think, his thoughts become so depressing...]
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Date: 2018-07-07 07:15 pm (UTC)But he got too ambitious. As soon as the moment of stubborn passes, it fully hits him that he's closer than he got last time, and he immediately scrambles back, slowing and then solidly planting his feet when he reaches the point he'd been at before he started moving. With the recovered distance, though, he also seems to regain his composure. It's frustrating, to gain so much ground and then immediately lose it...but he has gotten closer than he did last time.
He's making progress.]
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Date: 2018-07-07 07:39 pm (UTC)Well, right up until that scrambling. He rolls onto his stomach and looks over at Goro, eyes filled with alarm and concern alike.
What happened???]
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Date: 2018-07-07 07:54 pm (UTC)That thought and a deep breath help him recover a shaky composure, and he edges forward again. He's still visibly nervous, but doesn't seem willing to let it stop him.]
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Date: 2018-07-07 08:05 pm (UTC)... it's.. not a whole lot unlike how Goro used to be around him, huh...?
... heh. He really needs to stop thinking like this.
He goes back to lying on his side, since that seems to be the least intimidating pose for Goro at the moment.]
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Date: 2018-07-07 08:21 pm (UTC)If he's going to quit, it should be while he's ahead, like last time...right?]
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Date: 2018-07-07 08:40 pm (UTC)He turns back into a human and sits up.]
Akechi... let's take a short break. You're pushing yourself far too hard. Don't forget, this is only your second time doing this.
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Date: 2018-07-07 08:50 pm (UTC)Right...
[To his credit, he manages to keep his voice steady this time...instead of weak, it just sounds tired.]
I doubt this heat is helping, either. It's exhausting.
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Date: 2018-07-07 09:17 pm (UTC)Agreed. May I have some iced water?
[... at least he left off the "please"?]
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Date: 2018-07-07 09:25 pm (UTC)I guess it's probably too much to hope the buildings in this next Fissure still have working air conditioning...we were lucky enough that the last one was underwater.
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Date: 2018-07-07 10:00 pm (UTC)[He takes the bottle thankfully and opens it, taking a drink.]
You're doing well, though. Even in spite of your fear, you've made a lot of progress in a short time. Still, I can't help but worry a little about how hard you're pushing yourself.
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Date: 2018-07-07 10:10 pm (UTC)Not to mention the Metaverse. I know for a fact that there are Shadows that resemble lions, and I've already been in one Palace here. I'd rather push myself in controlled circumstances than panic when there's real danger.
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Date: 2018-07-07 10:47 pm (UTC)[His tone softens.]
But exercise patience with yourself. If it were Akira or Kurama... you'd want them to pace themselves, wouldn't you?
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Date: 2018-07-07 10:55 pm (UTC)...I suppose you're right. I can be...more stubborn than I should be, at times.
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Date: 2018-07-07 11:37 pm (UTC)[He breathes out a heavy sigh, hand tensing around the bottle slightly and crinkling it as he looks down at it.]
What an awful hand she was dealt...
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Date: 2018-07-08 12:12 am (UTC)[Even after his memory of her face started to fade, he still remembered the way the stress and exhaustion showed in her features. He worries his lip for a moment, then looks back at Shido.]
...It's why I can't help worrying when I see other people pushing themselves too hard. But maybe I'm a little too much my mother's son, huh?
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Date: 2018-07-08 12:41 am (UTC)[He gives Akechi a weak, half-hearted smile.]
Nonsense. You're fine just the way you are. Just remember to go a little easier on yourself now and then.
[He takes another drink.]
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Date: 2018-07-08 01:20 am (UTC)But...our society is unforgiving regarding academics, as well. I couldn't afford to let my grades slip, so I bargained with my teachers for permission to skip classes for work as long as I kept up my studies in my own time. Combined with how demanding the media became, and the need to maintain my public image, my entire high school career has essentially required me to push myself constantly to keep up with my financial, academic, and social obligations.
I'm trying to break some of those ingrained habits now that I have most of my time free, but it's three years against six months...
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Date: 2018-07-08 04:17 pm (UTC)You'll get there. Just have patience.
[And now he's going to go back to drinking that water some more, before splashing a little in his hand and rubbing it over his face and head.]
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Date: 2018-07-08 10:21 pm (UTC)[Actually, he's starting to wonder if it's possible to spontaneously Erase from overheating, but good luck getting him to admit it.]
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Date: 2018-07-08 10:39 pm (UTC)[He gets to a stand, and offers Akechi a hand up.]
Are you occupied tonight? We can resume at dusk once the heat's backed off.
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