foolishjustice | Private communications

foolishjustice

Moshi moshi!

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From:

foolishjustice

How does the library sound? Somewhere quiet.

From:

makejapangreat

I'll be there shortly.

[And sure enough, he'll make his way down to the library...]

From:

foolishjustice

[Goro's already there, having wanted to commit to this conversation before his nerves got the better of him. He's sitting at one of the tables, in plain view of the door, doodling vague lines of something that isn't even sure what it's trying to be on a piece of paper.]

From:

makejapangreat

[It's as he makes his way over to Akechi that he notices him drawing, small, quick movements that seem to be filled with nervous energy. And he can tell by his body language, too...

He draws in a breath, then walks over and takes a seat across the table from Akechi and folds his hands in front of him.]

Akechi... I want you to know, even if I could do anything to you, even if I somehow gain that power to do so... I will never lay a hand on you or threaten you.

I don't ever want to hurt you again.

From:

foolishjustice

[Those movements slow to a stop as Shido approaches, turning into idle flicking and simple twirling motions as he turns more of his attention to the coming conversation.]

I know. That's what made my reaction earlier so damn embarrassing...I can tell myself over and over that I'm safe, but it doesn't matter.

[He stops twirling the pencil to grip it in his hand, resting his fist palm down on the sheet of paper.]

The simple truth of it is, no matter what I consciously know, my emotional and instinctive responses haven't caught up with the change yet.

From:

makejapangreat

[He looks at Goro for awhile, lips thinning a bit, before his gaze drops and he gives a nod.]

Two months can't fix two and a half years.

From:

foolishjustice

No, it can't...

[He takes a breath, closing his eyes for a moment to compose his thoughts. When he opens them, he's not quite looking directly at him, but his posture is more awkward than hesitant.]

But it can start improvement. It's going to take time, before my instinctive reactions match my conscious knowledge, but there has been a change already.

From:

makejapangreat

[His gaze lingers on Goro a little more. After a moment:]

I'm sure you'll overcome it in time.

From:

foolishjustice

I am, too.

[But he wanted to make sure Shido knew.]

I just didn't want this hanging over us awkwardly while we worked on my phobia.

From:

makejapangreat

[He nods.] Are you ready to go outside, then?

From:

foolishjustice

[The nervousness swells back up at the idea of trying again, and he fidgets a bit with his pencil, but he takes a breath and nods back.]

I'm feeling up to at least trying.

From:

makejapangreat

[He gives a small smile, then gets up from his chair and heads outside. As he passes by Akechi, he reassures:]

Just remember, we have time.

[Once he's outside and a suitable distance from the Station, he turns into his lion form and lays down in the grass, settling his head between his paws.]

From:

foolishjustice

[Maybe it's because he saw Shido transform, or maybe it's just because he's not in a mood to give in to fear today, but he doesn't so much as flinch at the sight of the lion.]

I remember. I'll try to be more careful this time.

[He'll start by not pushing too far too fast. When he steps forward, it's slowly and cautiously. If he gives himself time to adjust each time he gets closer, maybe it'll be easier on his nerves.]

From:

makejapangreat

[It's... a warming feeling, for Goro to take his advice to heart. And he's even calm enough to speak... As the sun sets and the dusk wears on, it becomes increasingly dark, yet Shido can still see just fine. He wonders if the dark might make Goro nervous, however, if he can't see the lion in front of him all too well...]

From:

foolishjustice

[He only moves a bit closer, but it's clearly not panic that stops him. He's only looking a little more uncertain as he stops...but it does quickly advance to noticeable fear as the light fades. One foot slides back as his mind supplies assumptions about the details he can't see anymore, but he stops himself from backing away with a mental assurance that he can still see movement.

At the moment, it seems like he's a bit too nervous to think to put on his mask for the boost to his night vision.]

From:

makejapangreat

[He can hear his uncertain, anxious movements, and continues to lie very still. He isn't sure he could call this bonding, and yet... some part of him does feel satisfied, fulfilled to be able to help Goro through with this. Perhaps in a few months off, he could work him past his phobia enough to even be able to touch Shido in this form...]

From:

foolishjustice

[As the light continues to fade, the idea that he won't be able to see movement clearly for long leaves his imagination free to play havoc on his nerves. He barely manages to resist the impulse to run, as it occurs to him that he can do something about his vision.

Blue flame springs up around his face before resolving into the bright red tengu mask. He's not sure if it's cognition or an actual trait of his Persona mask, but he sees much more clearly in the darkness with it settled on his face.

And with his vision cleared, so is his head. Seeing the lion still lying in the same spot as before chases away the paranoid images in his mind, and he considers approaching again...but maybe it would be best to wait a little while longer, to make sure his nerves really are settled.]

From:

makejapangreat

[And good thing, too. The sound of the fire causes Shido to startle so much that he just about springs to his feet, head turning to stare at Goro with his mask. It does take a few moments, but after a moment he (somewhat hesitantly) relaxes, slowly lying back down on the ground. After another moment, he lays his head back in his paws so he's no longer looking directly at Goro.]

From:

foolishjustice

[The sudden movement startles him in turn, and his wings appear as he kicks off and flies back, halfway to the roof. It's just a kneejerk reaction this time, though, and he stops still in the air, with a shake of his head. But...maybe he should stay up here, at least until they've both fully recovered from their mutual startle.]

Sorry. I should've warned you before I did that.

From:

makejapangreat

[In spirit of keeping up the illusion, instead of responding with words Shido gives a grunt at Goro, lifting his head up just to do that before setting it between his forelegs again.]

From:

foolishjustice

[He doesn't have Robin Hood equipped, but he's still feeling surprisingly confident. Once he's sure they've both had time to recover from their startles, he lowers to touch down and fold his wings. After a moment of consideration, he also steps forward to where he'd been before he'd jumped.]

From:

makejapangreat

[Good, he seems to be making good progress. Even if he hasn't gotten too close in terms of distance, he's already starting to recover quicker... The mask does still make him a bit nervous, but he firmly holds his spot. Goro's ability to overcome his trauma is far more important to Shido than trying to get away from his own.]

From:

foolishjustice

[When he reaches the point where he'd stopped before, his foot hesitates just slightly before he keeps going. He stops after he's covered twice the distance he had before, again with steady movements that suggest it was a conscious decision rather than scared hesitation.

He's doing...remarkably well. The fear is still there, but it's at the back of his mind, held firmly in check by logic and confidence in his own abilities. He even manages a faint twitch of a self-satisfied smile.]

From:

makejapangreat

[He's ridiculously proud of Goro already, though the closing distance has his own nerves starting up... He shifts in his spot before stilling again. He's fine, Goro doesn't intend to hurt him anymore, after all...]

From:

foolishjustice

[When he sees the lion move, he balks. For a moment, it doesn't seem like he's going to move...but this time, the paranoia can't be chased away by turning on the lights. His expression shifts from unease to outright terror, before he stumbles backwards a few steps.

By this point, he doesn't even have the mental presence to reassure himself. Rather than stopping because he doesn't want to flee entirely, he seems to be frozen in fear, eyes wide behind his mask and wings fluffed defensively. It doesn't even occur to him that he can just say the word and have the lion change to something less intimidating...and even if it did, he wouldn't be able to find his voice to say it.]