[He gives a small smile, then gets up from his chair and heads outside. As he passes by Akechi, he reassures:]
Just remember, we have time.
[Once he's outside and a suitable distance from the Station, he turns into his lion form and lays down in the grass, settling his head between his paws.]
[Maybe it's because he saw Shido transform, or maybe it's just because he's not in a mood to give in to fear today, but he doesn't so much as flinch at the sight of the lion.]
I remember. I'll try to be more careful this time.
[He'll start by not pushing too far too fast. When he steps forward, it's slowly and cautiously. If he gives himself time to adjust each time he gets closer, maybe it'll be easier on his nerves.]
[It's... a warming feeling, for Goro to take his advice to heart. And he's even calm enough to speak... As the sun sets and the dusk wears on, it becomes increasingly dark, yet Shido can still see just fine. He wonders if the dark might make Goro nervous, however, if he can't see the lion in front of him all too well...]
[He only moves a bit closer, but it's clearly not panic that stops him. He's only looking a little more uncertain as he stops...but it does quickly advance to noticeable fear as the light fades. One foot slides back as his mind supplies assumptions about the details he can't see anymore, but he stops himself from backing away with a mental assurance that he can still see movement.
At the moment, it seems like he's a bit too nervous to think to put on his mask for the boost to his night vision.]
[He can hear his uncertain, anxious movements, and continues to lie very still. He isn't sure he could call this bonding, and yet... some part of him does feel satisfied, fulfilled to be able to help Goro through with this. Perhaps in a few months off, he could work him past his phobia enough to even be able to touch Shido in this form...]
[As the light continues to fade, the idea that he won't be able to see movement clearly for long leaves his imagination free to play havoc on his nerves. He barely manages to resist the impulse to run, as it occurs to him that he can do something about his vision.
Blue flame springs up around his face before resolving into the bright red tengu mask. He's not sure if it's cognition or an actual trait of his Persona mask, but he sees much more clearly in the darkness with it settled on his face.
And with his vision cleared, so is his head. Seeing the lion still lying in the same spot as before chases away the paranoid images in his mind, and he considers approaching again...but maybe it would be best to wait a little while longer, to make sure his nerves really are settled.]
[And good thing, too. The sound of the fire causes Shido to startle so much that he just about springs to his feet, head turning to stare at Goro with his mask. It does take a few moments, but after a moment he (somewhat hesitantly) relaxes, slowly lying back down on the ground. After another moment, he lays his head back in his paws so he's no longer looking directly at Goro.]
[The sudden movement startles him in turn, and his wings appear as he kicks off and flies back, halfway to the roof. It's just a kneejerk reaction this time, though, and he stops still in the air, with a shake of his head. But...maybe he should stay up here, at least until they've both fully recovered from their mutual startle.]
[In spirit of keeping up the illusion, instead of responding with words Shido gives a grunt at Goro, lifting his head up just to do that before setting it between his forelegs again.]
[He doesn't have Robin Hood equipped, but he's still feeling surprisingly confident. Once he's sure they've both had time to recover from their startles, he lowers to touch down and fold his wings. After a moment of consideration, he also steps forward to where he'd been before he'd jumped.]
[Good, he seems to be making good progress. Even if he hasn't gotten too close in terms of distance, he's already starting to recover quicker... The mask does still make him a bit nervous, but he firmly holds his spot. Goro's ability to overcome his trauma is far more important to Shido than trying to get away from his own.]
[When he reaches the point where he'd stopped before, his foot hesitates just slightly before he keeps going. He stops after he's covered twice the distance he had before, again with steady movements that suggest it was a conscious decision rather than scared hesitation.
He's doing...remarkably well. The fear is still there, but it's at the back of his mind, held firmly in check by logic and confidence in his own abilities. He even manages a faint twitch of a self-satisfied smile.]
[He's ridiculously proud of Goro already, though the closing distance has his own nerves starting up... He shifts in his spot before stilling again. He's fine, Goro doesn't intend to hurt him anymore, after all...]
[When he sees the lion move, he balks. For a moment, it doesn't seem like he's going to move...but this time, the paranoia can't be chased away by turning on the lights. His expression shifts from unease to outright terror, before he stumbles backwards a few steps.
By this point, he doesn't even have the mental presence to reassure himself. Rather than stopping because he doesn't want to flee entirely, he seems to be frozen in fear, eyes wide behind his mask and wings fluffed defensively. It doesn't even occur to him that he can just say the word and have the lion change to something less intimidating...and even if it did, he wouldn't be able to find his voice to say it.]
[He hears that movement and looks back over, and he can clearly see that Goro has lost his nerve. So he turns back into a human and gets off the ground.]
[When Shido changes shape, the obvious panic fades, but he's still visibly on edge. The rigid terror gives way to shaking, as he nervously pushes his mask up to run a hand over his face. There's no verbal response...it seems like that moment of panic was so intense that it's taking him a while to recover even now that he's not actively freaking out.]
[His brow pinches at the sight of him... he's too far away to see the shaking, but he can still see how distressed he is nevertheless by the way he pushes his mask up and doesn't even respond to Shido. He starts to move towards him—
... hesitates... and stops moving after having taken only a few steps. But now, at least, he's close enough to see that shaking, and that fuels his concern enough to close the distance between them.
... except... now what...?
...his heart feels like it's going to pound out of his goddamn chest, to be honest? Every part of his body... screams at him, warns him not to do this...
And yet he steps forward one last time, arms wrapping around his son. The hold is terribly fragile and loose, tightening only a very little bit. His body is a bit tense, breath a little uneven... this is probably a terrible idea?
Yet, as he saw his son stand there, shaking and unable to speak, he could only think to do one thing, even if it would have him scorned:
Protect.
His voice is quiet, almost as if afraid to dare to speak.]
[His eyes were covered by his hand, but even if they weren't, he still might have jumped a bit at the sudden hug. He pulls his hand away from his face as he looks up. Despite the surprise, though, his shaking does seem to be subsiding, and he reaches out almost like he's going to cling back...before instead resting his closed hand against Shido's shirt.]
I...was doing pretty well, until you moved that second time...
[And now that he's found his voice, it does seem to be steady...if tired.]
[The fact that he's not... immediately pushed away comes as a small surprise of its own. And the shaking is actually... lessening? He's... so relieved, honestly, and he slowly relaxes. The fact that he isn't being hugged back hardly surprises him— if anything, having the motion returned would have really sent him for a loop, and even that hand resting on his chest is far more than he hoped for.
After what had happened back on the Trivesta, he'd at the very least expected that this would be unwanted, but given that it's... actually helping Goro calm down? It's... enough to rekindle just a little spark of hope in him.]
Sorry... I guess I underestimated just how nervous your mask can make me.
[A bit of a pause, but then:] It won't happen again.
[He... isn't going to move quite yet. He wants to soak in this moment while it lasts...]
[As the shaking settles, his feathers slowly smooth out, wings shifting to help slide them back into place. Slowly, his off hand reaches up to remove the mask from his forehead, letting it dissolve into blue embers and disappear.]
Weren't you the one lecturing me about pushing myself, earlier today?
[He feels fragile in his arms. He's— warm? He may be a ghost, but he's as solid and real as any human he's ever known. Except, perhaps, for the apparent lack of breath...
Even that little question... somehow seems so innocent and yet implies at something deeper. A genuine caring, perhaps, for the person that was supporting him...
It's dangerous to get his hopes up, isn't it? He frowns for a moment... then gives a nod.]
I'll look in the library to see if there's some way to work around it.
[His breath isn't nonexistent, but it is sporadic, mostly coming before or after he speaks. More notable, possibly, is the lack of the pounding heartbeat that would be expected after that sort of panic attack...]
If need be, we could probably find some way to get better lighting. That way, I wouldn't need the mask improving my vision.
[He definitely does notice the lack of heartbeat and feels a bit of a chill go down his spine, but it doesn't reflect outwardly at all. After a very tentative moment... he finally decides to draw away from Goro. He... still doesn't want to press his luck.]
It shouldn't be that difficult. I'll see what I can find.
[There's a bit of awkwardness to his movements and posture, after that... like, he just hugged his son??? He— he didn't think anything like this would ever happen. And Goro even allowed it???
He is... definitely looking down and away and probably in his own world at the moment...]
[He takes a breath as Shido steps back, shifting his weight awkwardly from foot to foot as his feathers lift and flatten. It's not quite clear whether it's embarrassment, nervous energy, or something else, but there's definitely something uncertain to it.]
I'll see if I can find something, too.
For now, though, we should probably both go inside and find something relaxing or distracting to do.
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Date: 2018-07-16 04:00 am (UTC)I'm feeling up to at least trying.
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Date: 2018-07-16 04:32 pm (UTC)Just remember, we have time.
[Once he's outside and a suitable distance from the Station, he turns into his lion form and lays down in the grass, settling his head between his paws.]
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Date: 2018-07-16 09:46 pm (UTC)I remember. I'll try to be more careful this time.
[He'll start by not pushing too far too fast. When he steps forward, it's slowly and cautiously. If he gives himself time to adjust each time he gets closer, maybe it'll be easier on his nerves.]
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Date: 2018-07-16 10:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-07-16 11:02 pm (UTC)At the moment, it seems like he's a bit too nervous to think to put on his mask for the boost to his night vision.]
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Date: 2018-07-17 12:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-07-17 01:23 am (UTC)Blue flame springs up around his face before resolving into the bright red tengu mask. He's not sure if it's cognition or an actual trait of his Persona mask, but he sees much more clearly in the darkness with it settled on his face.
And with his vision cleared, so is his head. Seeing the lion still lying in the same spot as before chases away the paranoid images in his mind, and he considers approaching again...but maybe it would be best to wait a little while longer, to make sure his nerves really are settled.]
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Date: 2018-07-17 03:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-07-17 03:30 am (UTC)Sorry. I should've warned you before I did that.
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Date: 2018-07-17 03:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-07-17 04:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-07-17 04:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-07-17 04:48 am (UTC)He's doing...remarkably well. The fear is still there, but it's at the back of his mind, held firmly in check by logic and confidence in his own abilities. He even manages a faint twitch of a self-satisfied smile.]
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Date: 2018-07-17 04:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-07-17 09:58 pm (UTC)By this point, he doesn't even have the mental presence to reassure himself. Rather than stopping because he doesn't want to flee entirely, he seems to be frozen in fear, eyes wide behind his mask and wings fluffed defensively. It doesn't even occur to him that he can just say the word and have the lion change to something less intimidating...and even if it did, he wouldn't be able to find his voice to say it.]
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Date: 2018-07-19 05:59 pm (UTC)Alright, I think that's enough for today.
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Date: 2018-07-20 12:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-07-20 03:02 am (UTC)... hesitates... and stops moving after having taken only a few steps. But now, at least, he's close enough to see that shaking, and that fuels his concern enough to close the distance between them.
... except... now what...?
...his heart feels like it's going to pound out of his goddamn chest, to be honest? Every part of his body... screams at him, warns him not to do this...
And yet he steps forward one last time, arms wrapping around his son. The hold is terribly fragile and loose, tightening only a very little bit. His body is a bit tense, breath a little uneven... this is probably a terrible idea?
Yet, as he saw his son stand there, shaking and unable to speak, he could only think to do one thing, even if it would have him scorned:
Protect.
His voice is quiet, almost as if afraid to dare to speak.]
I'm... so proud of you, Akechi.
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Date: 2018-07-20 03:08 am (UTC)I...was doing pretty well, until you moved that second time...
[And now that he's found his voice, it does seem to be steady...if tired.]
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Date: 2018-07-20 04:13 am (UTC)After what had happened back on the Trivesta, he'd at the very least expected that this would be unwanted, but given that it's... actually helping Goro calm down? It's... enough to rekindle just a little spark of hope in him.]
Sorry... I guess I underestimated just how nervous your mask can make me.
[A bit of a pause, but then:] It won't happen again.
[He... isn't going to move quite yet. He wants to soak in this moment while it lasts...]
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Date: 2018-07-20 04:21 am (UTC)Weren't you the one lecturing me about pushing myself, earlier today?
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Date: 2018-07-20 07:14 am (UTC)Even that little question... somehow seems so innocent and yet implies at something deeper. A genuine caring, perhaps, for the person that was supporting him...
It's dangerous to get his hopes up, isn't it? He frowns for a moment... then gives a nod.]
I'll look in the library to see if there's some way to work around it.
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Date: 2018-07-20 09:43 am (UTC)If need be, we could probably find some way to get better lighting. That way, I wouldn't need the mask improving my vision.
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Date: 2018-07-27 05:42 pm (UTC)It shouldn't be that difficult. I'll see what I can find.
[There's a bit of awkwardness to his movements and posture, after that... like, he just hugged his son??? He— he didn't think anything like this would ever happen. And Goro even allowed it???
He is... definitely looking down and away and probably in his own world at the moment...]
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Date: 2018-07-27 08:31 pm (UTC)I'll see if I can find something, too.
For now, though, we should probably both go inside and find something relaxing or distracting to do.
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