[ ...and then there's that moment after you hit send where you realize just what you have done. This goes against the promise that she made to Akira and her promise to try and keep the peace. She takes a deep breath and there's a pause before she sends another message. ]
What I just said was uncalled for. I told Akira-kun that I understood his feelings and how important you are to him. I said I would accept that you two share these feelings and I intend on keeping that promise. What the two of you wish to be together has no bearing on me.
[ Lies. But sometimes you have to lie until you believe it. ]
[And there it is. The hatred and spite that he knew was hiding under that polite expression. He wishes he could say it doesn't bother him, especially since he knows he deserves it, but...]
No, I'm aware it was perfectly called for. To act as if I have a place to belong here was quite selfish of me. I suppose that's another thing I should apologize for.
Not that words truly hold weight at this point, do they? I can apologize and claim regret as much as I want, but it's not as if it would change the reason I'm not welcome.
If my attempts at politeness discomfort you, I could stop...but I'm not certain what's underneath would be of much use to anybody.
[ There is only so much a girl can hold in after all. Especially when things just kept piling up. ]
You're not making me feel uncomfortable, Akechi-san. That wouldn't be the right expression for what I'm feeling. I replied to your first message politely as that is what I felt your message deserved. Not because I wanted to project anything false to you.
What I would prefer is for you to not lie to me about regret and apologise for your past actions if you don't mean it. There's been enough damage done.
I wouldn't ask for the two of you to separate. I promised Akira-kun that much. I keep my promises.
[ As much as she wished sometimes she didn't. ]
I'm not sure if there is an answer that I could give you in regards to that right now. And more unsure that if I did have the answer, whether I would give it up to you so easily.
[ Because wouldn't part of making it up to her be finding that answer, yourself? ]
For Akira's sake, I wished there was an easy answer but I don't believe there is one.
[Ah. If the next reply takes a bit longer to come, it's absolutely not because he had to take time to steady his hands.
...He was planning on saving this for Shido's Palace, so he could just tell everyone who still doesn't know at once, but...maybe it would help, here?]
Well, if nothing else, I hope turning myself in after we confirm my father's change of heart will prove some sincerity. Even if part of my motivation is to be able to testify against him in full.
[ That would be one way of proving it to them all, she supposed but that would be going against the exact promise that she had made to her good friend. ]
That would go against the promise that I made to Akira-kun about you two being able to stay together. You might be able to find another way.
[ She didn't want to help Akechi as much as she wanted Akira to remain happy. He deserved to be happy. ]
I've already discussed this matter with Akira. With Shido's confession supporting my own account of events, we're hoping that the fact that I was reluctant to kill and only did so because I knew the consequences of defying orders will prevent a life sentence.
Even if it doesn't, the execution of minors goes against international law. As long as Akira can help prevent me from being assassinated myself for betraying the remaining members of the conspiracy, he should at least be able to visit me.
[Even if it would kill them both to not be able to touch one another. He never realized just how much he craved human contact until he had someone he could be affectionate with.]
You've put a lot of thought into this. And obviously it looks like you've talked this over with Akira-kun. I do admit that I would like to see you punished for what you did to my father.
[ There wasn't any point in lying about that. But, she was starting to see his side of things a little. Even if she wasn't changing her mind quite yet. He could still be lying about wanting to confess. What if he really did just want their help for some other end game? ]
But nothing will bring him back. And if your confession would only bring more hurt then, we may consider trying to figure out another way.
[ At least Akechi can't see the look on Haru's face as she's typing this. Her expression might not match her text. ]
I have a large amount of knowledge about the members of Shido's conspiracy that will be unaffected by his change of heart, as well as recorded evidence against them. It would be impossible for me to present this evidence without also implicating myself as the culprit behind the mental shutdowns and psychotic breakdowns, so it's for the best that I simply confess in full.
Sort of like my own, unofficial change of heart.
[It's a vague attempt at a joke, but he knows it's not really funny.]
Besides, it's not as if it isn't what I deserve. Wouldn't it go against everything the Phantom Thieves stand for to allow me to continue concealing my crimes and escaping justice?
Don't they have the option of having a deal for providing evidence?
[ She doesn't really know how it works. It just so happens that she watches crime shows because she enjoys watching scary shows, usually involving fighting and people being murdered and such. ]
I can't honestly say I can forgive you right now for what you've done but I am grateful that you are considering doing something to make up for it.
A plea bargain, yes. Selling out one's co-conspirators doesn't absolve a criminal, but it does offer a chance at a lighter sentence. Turning oneself in also generally earns some mercy in court.
The crimes I plan to confess to are many and quite severe, however. Even with those mitigating factors, conviction of all of them would result in a heavy sentence. My primary source of hope lies in the likelihood that Shido will confess to his threats against me and that the judge presiding over my case will recognize them as coercion.
I don't ask for your forgiveness, but I do hope you're willing to cooperate with me for one more Palace. This is far too personal for both Akira and myself for either of us to stand by and allow the other sole responsibility.
[No friendly fire is good. He's allergic to grenades.
But hah...saying 'everybody' as if it should just be assumed he's part of that. As if she's willing to pretend he actually belongs here.]
Of course, I never expected you to refuse to participate in this at all, merely that you might find it difficult to accept my continued presence. You have quite the personal stake in this, as well.
So long as we're speaking, it's only proper that I tell you the true circumstances behind your father's death, isn't it?
It was arranged to appear as if his assassination was in response to his change of heart, but it was truly the reverse. Shido specifically chose him as a scapegoat to frame the Phantom Thieves as murderers, in order to halt his ambitions of entering the political world.
The blood itself may be on my hands, but it was my father who chose yours for death.
[ She is actually willing to pretend he's a part of the Phantom Thieves for Akira's sake. If Akira needs him here then who was she to argue? ]
I can work to keep things professional if that's what it takes, Akechi-san. Akira-kun thinks highly of you after all.
[ Although finding out that additional information brought a pain to her chest. So her father's death were to target her and her friends. It was partially her fault for existing which brought about his demise. That doesn't make her feel much better but she's going to take it with her stride. ]
Thank you for providing this information to me, Akechi-san. I have a lot to think about in regards to what has happened. And a lot to prepare for.
[Well, the point he was trying to make was that her father was marked for death because of his own ambitions and it just made him a convenient scapegoat. But he can't correct Haru's misinterpretation if she doesn't bring it up, so...]
Yes, Shido's Palace is quite dangerous, and gaining access to his Treasure will no doubt be difficult. We all need to be well prepared.
Oh. Sakamato has suggested I should be more honest with all of you, so in the interest of transparency, I should probably say that there is one more thing I have to tell everyone that will most certainly come as a surprise. However, since it is something I need to tell all of the Phantom Thieves, my current intention is to share the information when we gather to begin the infiltration.
Don't worry, it's nothing concerning. As a matter of fact, it's to our benefit. From a perspective of being willing to trust that I am, indeed, truly on your side, anyway.
[ Sometimes, trying to correct someone's viewpoint of something is just going to bring more hurt. And there's a lot that she would rather not have to think about right now. ]
You have another surprise? I didn't think there would be that many secrets left. But, being honest can be a good solution to most things.
[ Although she wasn't sure she needed to hear more about her father at that time. ]
In terms of things I've deliberately kept from you, this is the last. Everything else you don't know about me is simply irrelevant to a professional relationship, or unlikely to matter at all.
You're free to ask if you wish to know, of course. I have no more reason to lie to any of you. But I am fairly certain that this is the last detail of significance I haven't shared with everyone.
I don't believe that is much more that I would need to know. Akira-kun will make sure that we know of all the information that we need to know, I'm sure. It is still just concerning that you had a reason to lie to us at all in the first place. I'm sure we can overcome that for one last fight.
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timeasmymeasure
2/2
Date: 2017-11-01 09:02 am (UTC)What I just said was uncalled for. I told Akira-kun that I understood his feelings and how important you are to him. I said I would accept that you two share these feelings and I intend on keeping that promise. What the two of you wish to be together has no bearing on me.
[ Lies. But sometimes you have to lie until you believe it. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-11-01 09:11 am (UTC)No, I'm aware it was perfectly called for. To act as if I have a place to belong here was quite selfish of me. I suppose that's another thing I should apologize for.
Not that words truly hold weight at this point, do they? I can apologize and claim regret as much as I want, but it's not as if it would change the reason I'm not welcome.
If my attempts at politeness discomfort you, I could stop...but I'm not certain what's underneath would be of much use to anybody.
no subject
Date: 2017-11-01 09:18 am (UTC)You're not making me feel uncomfortable, Akechi-san. That wouldn't be the right expression for what I'm feeling. I replied to your first message politely as that is what I felt your message deserved. Not because I wanted to project anything false to you.
What I would prefer is for you to not lie to me about regret and apologise for your past actions if you don't mean it. There's been enough damage done.
no subject
Date: 2017-11-01 09:28 am (UTC)So long as it didn't separate me from Akira, anyway. I doubt such a thing would be good for him, even disregarding my own feelings on the matter.
no subject
Date: 2017-11-01 09:39 am (UTC)[ As much as she wished sometimes she didn't. ]
I'm not sure if there is an answer that I could give you in regards to that right now. And more unsure that if I did have the answer, whether I would give it up to you so easily.
[ Because wouldn't part of making it up to her be finding that answer, yourself? ]
For Akira's sake, I wished there was an easy answer but I don't believe there is one.
no subject
Date: 2017-11-01 09:46 am (UTC)...He was planning on saving this for Shido's Palace, so he could just tell everyone who still doesn't know at once, but...maybe it would help, here?]
Well, if nothing else, I hope turning myself in after we confirm my father's change of heart will prove some sincerity. Even if part of my motivation is to be able to testify against him in full.
no subject
Date: 2017-11-02 10:32 am (UTC)That would go against the promise that I made to Akira-kun about you two being able to stay together. You might be able to find another way.
[ She didn't want to help Akechi as much as she wanted Akira to remain happy. He deserved to be happy. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-11-02 07:14 pm (UTC)Even if it doesn't, the execution of minors goes against international law. As long as Akira can help prevent me from being assassinated myself for betraying the remaining members of the conspiracy, he should at least be able to visit me.
[Even if it would kill them both to not be able to touch one another. He never realized just how much he craved human contact until he had someone he could be affectionate with.]
no subject
Date: 2017-11-03 07:54 am (UTC)[ There wasn't any point in lying about that. But, she was starting to see his side of things a little. Even if she wasn't changing her mind quite yet. He could still be lying about wanting to confess. What if he really did just want their help for some other end game? ]
But nothing will bring him back. And if your confession would only bring more hurt then, we may consider trying to figure out another way.
[ At least Akechi can't see the look on Haru's face as she's typing this. Her expression might not match her text. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-11-03 08:09 am (UTC)Sort of like my own, unofficial change of heart.
[It's a vague attempt at a joke, but he knows it's not really funny.]
Besides, it's not as if it isn't what I deserve. Wouldn't it go against everything the Phantom Thieves stand for to allow me to continue concealing my crimes and escaping justice?
no subject
Date: 2017-11-06 06:17 am (UTC)[ She doesn't really know how it works. It just so happens that she watches crime shows because she enjoys watching scary shows, usually involving fighting and people being murdered and such. ]
I can't honestly say I can forgive you right now for what you've done but I am grateful that you are considering doing something to make up for it.
no subject
Date: 2017-11-06 08:35 am (UTC)The crimes I plan to confess to are many and quite severe, however. Even with those mitigating factors, conviction of all of them would result in a heavy sentence. My primary source of hope lies in the likelihood that Shido will confess to his threats against me and that the judge presiding over my case will recognize them as coercion.
I don't ask for your forgiveness, but I do hope you're willing to cooperate with me for one more Palace. This is far too personal for both Akira and myself for either of us to stand by and allow the other sole responsibility.
no subject
Date: 2017-11-09 11:00 am (UTC)[ She'll even fight alongside you without any friendly fire. ]
I will be there and I will be everybody's support as I have been. I would have offered to assist even without any prompting.
no subject
Date: 2017-11-10 08:54 am (UTC)But hah...saying 'everybody' as if it should just be assumed he's part of that. As if she's willing to pretend he actually belongs here.]
Of course, I never expected you to refuse to participate in this at all, merely that you might find it difficult to accept my continued presence. You have quite the personal stake in this, as well.
So long as we're speaking, it's only proper that I tell you the true circumstances behind your father's death, isn't it?
It was arranged to appear as if his assassination was in response to his change of heart, but it was truly the reverse. Shido specifically chose him as a scapegoat to frame the Phantom Thieves as murderers, in order to halt his ambitions of entering the political world.
The blood itself may be on my hands, but it was my father who chose yours for death.
no subject
Date: 2017-11-14 07:26 am (UTC)I can work to keep things professional if that's what it takes, Akechi-san. Akira-kun thinks highly of you after all.
[ Although finding out that additional information brought a pain to her chest. So her father's death were to target her and her friends. It was partially her fault for existing which brought about his demise. That doesn't make her feel much better but she's going to take it with her stride. ]
Thank you for providing this information to me, Akechi-san. I have a lot to think about in regards to what has happened. And a lot to prepare for.
no subject
Date: 2017-11-14 08:06 am (UTC)Yes, Shido's Palace is quite dangerous, and gaining access to his Treasure will no doubt be difficult. We all need to be well prepared.
Oh. Sakamato has suggested I should be more honest with all of you, so in the interest of transparency, I should probably say that there is one more thing I have to tell everyone that will most certainly come as a surprise. However, since it is something I need to tell all of the Phantom Thieves, my current intention is to share the information when we gather to begin the infiltration.
Don't worry, it's nothing concerning. As a matter of fact, it's to our benefit. From a perspective of being willing to trust that I am, indeed, truly on your side, anyway.
no subject
Date: 2017-11-16 11:38 pm (UTC)You have another surprise? I didn't think there would be that many secrets left. But, being honest can be a good solution to most things.
[ Although she wasn't sure she needed to hear more about her father at that time. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-11-17 01:31 am (UTC)You're free to ask if you wish to know, of course. I have no more reason to lie to any of you. But I am fairly certain that this is the last detail of significance I haven't shared with everyone.
no subject
Date: 2017-11-21 06:10 am (UTC)